So today was going to be a good day...Until I woke up.. =) I woke up late, which threw me off... got up to see the dog had gotten into something.... and had a NOT so nice accident (or 2) on the floor. (I am wondering how my hubby missed THOSE lovely presents..). but oh well.. cleaned it up. Decided I was going to go blue berrying AGAIN, by myself.. so I walked the dog.. I was still cranky... I have had so much on my mind and heart.. I miss so many things, my friends that no longer live around here, I miss my old home..my family, I miss my friend that went to heaven.. I miss how summers used to be.. so many changes this past year.. it seems like I'm losing connections with anyone and everyone that ever really mattered to me, or made a difference in my life...and it HURTS...so..
as I walked with my dog..I turned my Ipod on to hopefully get my attitude and heart adjusted with some music....and all I kept finding was songs I just wasn't in the mood to hear... As I stomped thru the woods....(cuz I REALLY didn't want to be there)... a song suddenly came on that got my attention....It's called You are Being Loved.. by Steven Curtis Chapman..It's kind of a catchy, peppy tune..so I listened.. and started to cry....it was the reminder I so desperately needed to hear today....
~~"So you think love is only for the good enough, and one thing your never gonna be worthy of, but there's a song being sung over you, by the one who breathes life into you.You are being loved, right now you are being loved....... Whatever you do, wherever you are.. there's a song being sung over you... Right now..."~~
Wow! sometimes I am amazed at God's timing...I mean.. I'm having a really bad day...I'm NOT really feeling good enough to be anyone's friend and just feeling unlovable and unloved..... and all I want to do is shut everyone out..and hide...... and THIS song comes on....but it got me thinking...and kinda starting changing my attitude... =)
What an awesome thought....that there's a God who loves each of us unconditionally no matter what... everyday, every second and moment of our lives.. even during our worst moments...even in those moments when we're struggling with belief itself.. HE KNOWS... and is patient, and loving us thru it ALL...It also reminded me that on these days, when I'm really bummed... I KNOW there are loved ones out there that are also loving me, no matter where I am, or where they are ...they are "singing" over me... and for me..
So anyway... With those more positive thoughts going thru my brain, I decided to go check out the blueberry's ...I got there and I found this really awesome bush that basically was the only one I needed to pick from.. (filled my WHOLE bucket! =))..I'm moving along... picking away.. almost had my bucket filled... and I started thinking about my friend...( one that I've been worried about)... and wouldn't you know......the whole bucket just ( in SLLLLOOwwww Motion... :)) tipped over... and I lost half my bucket... yea...you read right... tons of plump, juicy berries... GONE!!! ughh!!
Now... yea.. my bad day, that started to get better just took a nose dive.. As I stared down at the blueberry's all over the ground and on my feet, I kinda wanted to cry...
and then I heard these words whispered in my heart... "you are being loved... even tho you dumped your blueberry's, ...YOU are being loved....even tho you're heartsick over your friend.. YOU are being loved, RIGHT NOW.. you are loved.."
yea.. I teared up...but I smiled...
I salvaged what blue berry's I could, and finished picking and filling my bucket..
Life IS good ... it is filled with many obstacles.. bumps, and detours.. but it IS good..It's filled with relationships and losses that can hurt due to us just being human...but I think life mostly IS what we make of it ... So today...if you are reading this.. I hope you KNOW that you are loved!! and that you can let love in.. and to my friend who will probably never see this... YOU are LOVED!!
.....now I'm off to show my hubby some love by making him a blueberry pie... =)