Saturday, September 4, 2010

Foot in mouth disease

So I've decided I just need to keep my mouth shut.. I have a really bad case of foot in mouth disease...chronically, lately..I don't think it's curable...Can't seem to say the right thing to anybody.. and when I do.. it just never comes out right. I know what I want to say in my head....but go to say it... and *POOF*.. I turn into a complete babbling idiot.. It's almost funny at this point I think...
I know it stems from when I was a kid...I was EXTREMEly shy and introverted.. all the teachers loved me, I never talked. I stuttered  when I got nervous...I stuttered around people that intimidated me, people that frightened me.. As an adult I had some social anxiety issues, due to some circumstances that just kind of happen sometimes. As a result... when I get nervous I almost hyperventilate...then say all the wrong things...cry, you NAME it... and it all just comes out wrong because I'm afraid the person I'm trying to talk to, will be angry, p.o'd, turned name it..They won't understand what I'm really trying to say...etc.. Basically boils down to rejection and ... *sigh* Rejection is probably one of those life long issues that we all deal with in one shape or form.... mine just happens to be talking, and communicating verbally....UGGgghhhh!!!   and when it's important!!!...  Doesn't any of this stuff finally go away the older we get??... It's usually a case of something really important too.... something I really need someone that's important to me,  to understand... Ughh..DANG IT!!....SOMEDAY, I won't look like a complete idiot... but for now.. I think I'll just keep my thoughts to myself and keep my mouth shut... and while I'm at it..
                                                   I think I'll wash my feet... =)

1 comment:

Melanie said...

Cathy, Cathy, Cathy... I used to say, well, since my foot is in my mouth again... I'm gonna try wiggling my toes! LOL

I don't know if we ever overcome the fear of rejection thingy... somedays I hope we get to the point of not caring that much anymore, but that isn't the answer either. 'Cuz to be there, I'd have to harden the 'ol ticker a little bit too much.

Don't keep you mouth shut... write it down if you need to and then share it! You have lots of wisdom & love to share my friend!!

If needed... I'll pass the foot powder!!

Love you bunches!!