Sunday, November 27, 2011
Falling of the wagon
In my absence, lots has happened...I've been trying to heal from 6 months of physical illness(es) and also 6 months of grieving..My adoptive dad died...It's actually probably more like 10 yrs. of bottled up grief..from caring for both my parents ..a good friend,..and others that have passed on.. As I write this.. I have learned that my biological mom died.....So now they are ALL gone...it's such a strange, place to be in... with no parents.. no family...and by family,don't get me wrong.. I have my hubz and kids.. but the "roots" of family .. ya know.. it's all gone.....
It's like starting all over again.. At the advice of my husband...I've been learning to "just be still", It's not an easy thing to do.. but sometimes it's a much needed thing to do. Sometimes it's the things that don't make sense to do..that are the very things that end up making the most sense.
I have been busy..healing. I quit my job. At my husbands gentle encouraging, I did it.! That was a big stress-or..so quitting it eliminated a lot of stress. I needed to get the stressers under control..Sometimes it's just what you have to do!
I've dealt with some family issues that needed taking care of . Definitely not easy stuff, but I'm at peace knowing I have done my best, and what I could. That's all that's ever asked of us really.. To do our best..
I have been continuing with my photography. It's a healing hobby for me..I don't think I'll ever be professional.. but that doesn't matter.. it brings me joy and peace... and that's all that matters.Actually got to go on a Senior photo shoot. It was a blast! and I learned a lot! I need to work on my confidence...but that will come, with more opportunity's. I'm still working on my photography stuff, and took my next Unit test.. hardest unit yet, and I passed with an 85%! Not too shabby for this ol' lady.. :) I still have to mail in my photo's to be looked at.. and then move on to the next Unit. Hopefully I will choose my photo's to mail in,soon, and post them here..
With the Thanksgiving and Christmas season upon us, I've been finding it hard to "get into" the spirit of things..I know all the "right" reasons for the holidays.. but this year.. I'm just stepping back...I've lost a lot...and I think it's because I'm just so drained emotionally... and that's ok.. it's just a season....Season's come and go.. and in each one... we some how grow.